SUBTLE SEXUALITY MENU
Exploring
Subtle Sexuality
Welcome to the world of subtle sexuality, where intimacy goes beyond the physical.
Subtle sexuality is an exploration of the softer, more nuanced layers of erotic connection — where energy, emotion, and sensation blend to create deeper, more meaningful interactions.
unlike traditional forms of sexuality...
subtle sexuality invites you to slow down and experience connection through presence, attunement, and non-verbal communication.
⭐ Subtle sexuality is for those who crave more than touch—those who want to feel the energy between themselves and another, who seek to explore the unspoken and the unseen.
⭐ This path is about awakening the senses and becoming more attuned to your own erotic self, owning the pace and cadence of intimacy you enjoy going at.
⭐ Whether you’re new to this concept or have been on a journey of self-discovery for some time, subtle sexuality offers a gateway to a profound connection with yourself and others.
Discover more by joining us for upcoming events, utilizing the resources on this site, and exploring coaching work designed specifically for subtle sexuals.
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~ for a place to share thoughts, experiences and resources about subtle sexuality ~
JOIN US FOR AN INTRO EVENT TO LEARN MORE
THE POWER OF SLOW, ATTUNED INTIMACY
A SUBTLE SEXUALITY INTRO @ THE SOMATIC PLAYGROUND
Come learn about and experience “Subtle Sexuality”, a sexual orientation that prioritizes slower, softer energetic, emotional, and intimate connecting. Through a combination of conversation, contemplation, and somatic exploration, discover your connection to slow, attuned intimacy.
🗓️ WHEN: Nov 24, 2025
🕰️ TIME: 7PM-9PM
🏢 WHERE: ALCHEMY HOUSE in OAKLAND, CA
💵 COST: $30
🎟️ MORE DETAILS + TICKETS: CLICK HERE
What is SUBTLE SEXUALITY?
Subtle sexuality is an orientation toward the deeper layers of erotic experience, where connection is felt as much with the heart and mind as it is with the body. It is about exploring intimacy in ways that transcend physical touch, tuning into the energies that flow between individuals, and embracing the powerful sensations that come from emotional and energetic exchanges.
At its core, subtle sexuality invites you to become more aware of the spaces between words, the sensations beneath the skin, and the unspoken emotions that color every interaction. It’s a form of intimacy that speaks to the soul, blending mindfulness, presence, and vulnerability.
Subtle sexuality connects to various practices, including energy play, tantra, and sensual mindfulness. It’s not just about what you do with your body—it’s about how you can expand your awareness and use all of your senses to experience eroticism in new and profound ways, here and now.
Take Our Quiz
Curious about how subtle sexuality fits into your intimate life? Take our interactive quiz to discover what role subtle sexuality plays in your relationships. Whether you’re completely new to this concept or already exploring its nuances, this quiz will offer insights and guide you toward deeper understanding.
the origins of subtle sexuality:
- Subtle Sexuality as a concept is a work in progress!
“Subtle sexuality” is a concept that intimacy coach and erotic educator Claire Rumore began developing with the help of her friend and colleague, Lindsay Miller, in the spring of 2023 while Claire was healing from an illness that (thankfully only temporarily) eliminated her sex drive. As her sexualness returned, she recognized that her sensual nature was now markedly more subtle, slower, and fed powerfully by intellectual and emotional connecting alongside presence, anticipation, attunement, and longing.
Subtle sexuality as a concept is a “work in progress”. There is no universal definition yet. We are eager to explore and expand this concept in community with others who resonate with it so we can flesh out this “identity” and help subtle sexuals find like-minded and like-wired others. We’re eager to share with you what we’ve uncovered so far and hear your thoughts and ideas!
The Key Elements of Subtle Sexuality
Subtle sexuality offers many enjoyable and empowering practices for cultivating intimacy.
Emotional Connection
Subtle sexuality places great importance on the emotional bond between partners. It’s about being attuned to your partner’s feelings and creating a safe, open space for mutual vulnerability.
energy play and flow
This is the art of sensing and directing the flow of energy between partners. Energy play allows you to feel deeply connected even when physical touch is minimal or absent, creating an invisible thread of intimacy.
slower, mindful touch
Often, less is more. Subtle touch involves using light, intentional contact that heightens sensitivity and awareness. It invites a slower, more mindful engagement with the body.
sensory awareness
Practicing subtle sexuality involves tuning into all of your senses—sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. The smallest sensory detail can deepen erotic experience when approached with mindfulness.
presence and attunement
Being fully present with your partner is at the heart of subtle sexuality. It’s about truly being with each other, tuning in moment by moment, without distraction or expectation.
intimate Safety
These elements combine to make subtle sexuality a deeply rewarding and enriching way to explore intimacy.
how do you relate to subtle sexuality?!
you might relate to subtle sexuality as:
- A style of sexual connecting
- An approach to intimacy
- A sexual orientation
- A sexual identity
- Something uniquely yours to define for yourself
subtle sexuality is CHARACTERIZED BY:
- Slow(er), subtle(r) sensual exploration - (mindful and heart-centered)
- Emotional and intellectual depth - (relational connection over pure physicality)
- Energetic attunement - (physical senses AND unseen energies)
- Emphasis on safety, consent and feeling
Subtle Sexuality brings these 4 Qualities of attuned intimacy into practice:
- Presence
- Pace
- Permission
- Play
the 10 principles of Subtle Sexuality can powerfully rewire your erotic awareness and satisfaction
Eros is life energy, not performance
Subtle sexuality begins with the understanding that eros is not limited to genital arousal or sexual acts. It’s the current of aliveness that animages all things. You don’t have to “turn on” to be erotic. You are erotic when you’re present.
slowness is a form of power
Prioritizing unhurried, deliberate intimacy over quick gratification, allowing for deeper emotional and physical connection because when you slow down you feel more… not less.
Attunement is the core erotic skill
Attunement – listening with your body to your own and another’s signals – replaces “seduction” as the essential art. When we cultivate mindfulness and awareness in intimate encounters, deeper connection and creativity becomes available.
subtle doesn't mean less. it means refined.
People often mistake, subtlety for absence of desire or low libido. But subtle sexual experience, energy, connection, and pleasure on refined frequencies. The quieter the sensation, the more information it carries.
Pleasure and safety can coexist.
Many have learned that Erotic charge cars, danger, risk, or friction. Settle sexuality, reclaimed safety as a fertile condition for pleasure. You can feel deeply alive without disregulation or destablization.
Your pace is sacred and essential.
Settle sexuality, affirm that not everyone’s desire unfolds on the same timeline – and that is not dysfunction. It’s design. There’s no behind or ahead in erotic time.
Energy precedes form.
Before we touch, speak, or flirt, energy, already communicates. Learning to perceive and direct that energy is part of subtle sexual literacy. Connection starts in the field, not the act.
Relationality is erotic.
Subtle sexuality, restores connection – to Self, others, and the world – as an erotic experience. Presence, empathy, and mutual care are forms of arousal.
Your erotic truth is enough.
The subtle path honors authenticity of spectacle. Desire doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. There’s no wrong way to be sensually or erotically expressed.
Eros as communion, not consumption
Instead of taking, seeking, or conquering, subtle sexuality invites us to commune – to be with, to receive, and to allow. When we stop trying to get something, we start feeling everything.
HOW IS SUBTLE SEXUALITY SHOWING UP IN YOUR LIFE?
be part of our research about subtle sexuality!
- Help us develop this new language and identity
We’d love your help developing subtle sexuality as a sexual orientation, fleshing out our understanding of how people experience themselves as more subtle when it comes to their sexuality and eroticism, what their needs are, and which kinds of activities, events and environments feel best.
Thank you in advance for your contributions to our research!
explore personalized Coaching for Subtle Sexuals
Expand your Erotic Awareness
These coaching offerings are designed to help you expand your understanding of erotic energy, emotional intimacy, and sensual mindfulness while identifying your unique expression(s) of subtle sexuality. Whether you’re looking to reignite the spark in your relationship or embark on a solo journey of self-discovery, these personalized sessions and intensives provide a safe, non-judgmental space for exploration.
Unlock a deeper connection to yourself and your partner(s)!
Stay Updated
Stay connected, stay curious—discover a new way to experience intimacy.